Monday, July 5, 2010

Love yourself. It's a pretty simple message really. It's a message that somehow keeps appearing to me in many different forms recently, from it being the words written on a dear friends tattoo to many an obvious sign from the universe that this simple key phrase seems to be lacking in my life.

After a recent stint in hospital for Crohn's disease, I have realised that many of the things I have undertaken in my life have been at a hurtling pace with little regard of the physical consequences, ie my health. I am at the tail end of a postgraduate degree which in my Taurean haste to finish, has left me positively drained of energy and passion for my subject which has lead to a lot of stress and last minute throwing together of assignments. Time to care for myself has been an illusion just a smidgeon away from my grasp, as I attempt to rush through all of my other allocated tasks with the notion I'll do something nice for myself later "when I have time".

The time has come. I have taken the time to listen to my body, to consider what it needs to be healthy. I have listened to my inner dialogues and conflicts in order to ascertain what I need to do. I have reassessed my priorities and thought about my future. I have been in total panic when I realised I have accidentally skipped a core subject and felt the relief of knowing that extending my course is for the best. It is necessary. To slow down.

Slowing down is not an act of failure, it is an act of love for myself, knowing that I will reach the inevitable end of my degree in due time, without further damaging my health, without stress, but with the knowledge that I have achieved my dream in my own time with a newly found sense of love, strength and passion.

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