Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Happy New Year! Happy Year of the Rabbit!
Well it's been a while since I wrote on this blog. It's funny how time just gets away from us when we get caught up in life. The past 6 months has been an incredible journey of self-discovery. I have been in hospital, several times for various reasons. I have had to change my diet and lifestyle quite dramatically in order to better deal with my Crohn's Disease. So far it's working, most of the time, which is an incredible bonus.
I made the decision to get my motor scooter licence so I can have more independence in my life. I passed the test with flying colours, a brand new motor scooter presented itself with such brilliant timing. Now that I have the Scooter, at my home, in my city, I am scared to ride after falling off an hour after I had registered and insured it. I am grateful that people were kind enough to help me, I was not injured and my bike has only minimal damage as far as I know. Luckily my parents were still in town and able to help me fix some of the damage immediately. I now just need to have it checked by a mechanic to rule out any more serious damage, then I need to keep practicing, become more confident in my ability to ride, and take an advanced riding course to improve my skills. It will happen when it is meant to.
Late last year I had become very disillusioned and confused with my life and where things were at. I was scared about work, lack of income and everything that stems from that. I was also very over my chosen city. I decided to take some time out. To get reacquainted with myself. I temporarily worked and lived in a city where I have lived before. It was like taking a step back in time. I thought that I could just fit back in to where I left it and I didn't. I couldn't. I realised I have changed and my life has progressed. I enjoyed spending time with some amazing friends, who once again, opened their hearts and their homes to me, let me into their lives, and helped me on my journey of healing. I realised that not everything is what it seems, and sometimes going back to the past can help you to understand how good the present really is. My time away was bittersweet. I had to sort the shit from the sugar on many levels.
Some of the lessons I learned were difficult. I had to relearn how to love myself. How to like myself, and how to respect myself in order to accept who I am. Learning to stand up for myself and what I believe in. Learning that Karma works.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. This is a very profound quote. Having been away for over 2 months, I have reminded myself that joy can be found in the simplest of things, from the setting of the sun, a swim in the ocean, and the innocent songs of my 2 year old nephew who is obsessed with his aunt's motorscooter (or Auntie C's mo-no bike as he says). Happiness can also be found within, just that sometimes you need to push past the clouds of negativity that stop you from seeing and feeling it.